


Difficult Offers

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asgardian Tony Stark, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt, Feels, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kissing, Light Angst, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) Angst, Loki (Marvel) Feels, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Propositions, Secrets, Tony Feels, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 09:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17958281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: When a spell hits Anthony, it should make him fall in love with the witch who cast it. Yet, it doesn't work, and that can only mean one thing; Anthony Howardson is already in love.





	Difficult Offers

**Author's Note:**

> Now, the faithful readers among you will know that about a week ago I posted a fic called " **[Anything For You](https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/42207260)** " and said I would be posting a similar fic with a matching premise; this is that fic. 
> 
> The fic linked above was from Anthony's POV and dealt with him making an offer. _This_ story is from Loki's POV and has him making the same offer.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Anthony Howardson was a highly revered weaponsmith, warrior and scholar. He had charm, wit and good humour. He was also one of the most handsome Aesir on Asgard.

The _most_ handsome, if anyone were to ask Loki and be trusted with his honest answer.

Anthony could have any woman he wanted (and frequently did so) and was highly sought after as a husband. Truly, the only Aesir more coveted than him was Thor.

It was why it was of little surprise that Anthony would be the target of a malicious love spell. 

When cast on an individual the spell would force the victim to fall in love with the sorcerer. The only ones who _couldn’t_ be harmed by the spell were those who were already in love. Anthony, the famed “bed them and leave them” Aesir should have been easily susceptible.

Yet, when the spell hit, it made Anthony stumble backwards, but he looked up at the woman with fury in his eyes. “What filthy spell did you hit me with, witch?”

He wasn’t instantly in love with her; he didn’t fall at her feet and declare her as his one true love. She shrieked with rage while Loki’s mind reeled. 

Anthony, his dearest, closest friend was in love and he had never told Loki. It sent pain through Loki; the hurt from the lack of trust, and the sharp aching knowledge of unrequited love.

He’d always known, of course, that Anthony only saw him as a companion and friend. He’d always been _overjoyed_ with that level of closeness, but deep inside he’d constantly craved more. He loved Anthony. Loki might hide it, dismiss it and never let it show to the other Aesir, but he still felt it.

Loki had always taken a bitter comfort in knowing Anthony never took lovers for more than a night or two. It had given him... not _hope_ that he could win the man, but a faint contentment, knowing that as long as Anthony was unattached there was a chance.

A pitiful, insignificant and _impossible_ chance, but a chance nonetheless.

But Anthony was in _love_ and this spell proved it. And as the wailing, screaming sorcerer was pulled away by the Einherjar after being slapped with magic-binding manacles and waved off by Anthony who assured them he was fine. Loki was left to stand and stare at his friend. The Asgardian had no idea what had just been revealed to Loki.

“Loki?” his friend’s voice dragged the mage from his thoughts. Anthony’s eyes were filled with concern. “I do not need fear her spell, do I? You do not seem concerned but you seem... unhappy. What did she cast on me?” 

Loki swallowed and glanced around them. They had been attending the markets when she had attacked them in broad daylight. It was a stupid tactic and had drawn the Einherjar to them. They were now being watched by many Asgardians and Loki wanted them somewhere private for this discussion.

He took his friend’s arm and teleported them to the man’s smithy. It was as well warded as Loki’s rooms and with it locked up for the day, no one should disturb them. 

Anthony continued to eye him oddly. “Loki-”

“She cast a love spell on you,” Loki’s voice could not hide his hurt. “It did not work, it was _impossible_ because you are already in love with another.” 

Anthony’s face slackened and shock filled his gaze only for _panic_ to replace it. He quickly looked away, trying to hide it. It made fresh hurt flare through Loki’s chest. “Why did you not _tell_ me?”

Anthony’s eyes closed, looking pained. “It does not matter, Loki.”

“You are in _love_ ,” Loki hissed, his voice becoming sharper, his emotions being channelled into the easier anger rather than the agony beneath. “I am your _friend_. Why would you not-”

“Because it has no bearing-”

“You _lie?_ To _me?_ ” Anthony gritted his teeth, still not looking at him. He even tried to shake off Loki’s hand but the mage refused to be moved. “Anthony-”

“Why would I tell you?” Anthony suddenly spat, turning to face him, his expression furious. “Do you think it brings me pleasure to indulge in talking about someone I cannot _have?!_ ”

Loki pulled up short, shocked. “What?”

Anthony gave a bitter laugh and when he pulled away, Loki let him. He didn’t go far, merely taking a single step back and rubbing his hands over his face. 

Loki still couldn’t believe it. “But... but you are adored.”

The little of Anthony’s smile that Loki could see was bitter and sharp. “That doesn’t always translate to _love_ , Loki. Not from the right person.”

Loki tried not to flinch, feeling a deep understanding that cut too close to his heart. He was not adored by many but... yes, it could mean everything and nothing when the right person loved you, but not in the way you _longed_ for them to love you.

It hurt, more than Loki wanted to admit, to stand in front of Anthony and hear his confession. They were both trapped in the same pain. It was a heartache Loki wished Anthony didn’t suffer. (It was a pain that, deep down, Loki wished _he_ could be the one to sooth, but he knew that was pure folly to contemplate.)

He reached out and very lightly touched his friend’s shoulder. “I am sorry, Anthony.”

Anthony slumped and his hands fell away from his face, he looked drained. Loki yearned to pull him close, to hug him in the way he only rarely allowed himself.

Instead, he very gently asked, “Will you tell me who they are?”

Loki had known he might gain a refusal, but he did not expect Anthony’s expression to harden and a mask to slide over it. Loki had seen that expression before but he had _never_ been on the receiving end of it; Anthony was closing himself off to _Loki_.

“You still won’t tell me,” Loki murmured and that stung. He let go of Anthony and grit his teeth. “You still do not _trust_ me.”

Anthony’s gaze jerked to his, apology and misery filling his gaze. “I trust you, Loki, but I...” he looked away and bit his lip. “I can’t tell you this.”

“You cannot tell _me?_ ” Loki spat, his upset and anger getting the better of him. “I, who have stood by you for _decades_. You think I would spill your secret? That I would mock your love or your pain? You think so _little_ of me?”

“No!” Anthony protested. His eyes wide and his hands rising, but whether to touch Loki or ward him off, Loki didn’t know. He also didn’t remain to find out. He was too wounded to stay.

“Have your secret, _Howardson_. It is not as if I thought you the only Aesir who _trusted_ me.”

He heard Anthony call out for him but Loki was already teleporting away and to the safety and privacy of his rooms.

Loki’s heart _ached_. It hurt in more ways than he could count. 

Anthony had kept a secret from him and refused to trust him. Anthony would not admit the truth of the one he coveted even now. He _loved_ someone, and Loki knew that Anthony did not love easily or lightly.

Whoever they were, they held Anthony’s heart in their hand and they foolishly, _stupidly_ , did not want it! Loki could not understand why someone would refuse him. Loki would give up... everything to hold Anthony’s affections. His envy was almost crippling. This person threw away the one thing he wanted, above all else. Norns, he would give up a chance at Asgard’s _throne_ to be with Anthony!

Was this woman simply an imbecile? But... no, Anthony would not love a fool.

A married woman though... that would account for much; someone Anthony could not pursue and someone he could not admit to loving without invoking a fight between him and her husband. If she truly loved her spouse, she would not want him dead by Anthony’s hand.

Yes, that could account for it, but _why_ would he not tell Loki? Did he believe Loki would not keep his secret? It hurt to believe that, yet it was still an easier ache to focus on. It was so much _harder_ to admit the greater pain that plagued his heart.

Anthony loved another. The few pitiful, foolish fantasies Loki often contemplated of requited affection, they would never come to pass. 

Loki closed his eyes and let his shoulders drop. Anthony had never been within his grasp, but now even his fantasies were snatched from him.

* * *

Loki nursed his hurt for three days.

He refused to visit Anthony and even when the weaponsmith sent a letter requesting he come to the forge, Loki ignored it. Loki did not know how long he would have remained apart from Anthony, but his friend came to see him first.

The mage had been in his chambers and trying, not for the first time, to deduce the woman who held Anthony’s affections. 

He was sitting in his rooms, pensively reviewing all interactions between Anthony and married women. There were numerous, but Loki had yet to find a single one that he treated with anything other than politeness and casual, light-hearted flirtation.

It spoke a lot of their friendship that Loki didn’t notice Anthony passing through his wards, or that the weaponsmith was able to throw open his doors without knocking or announcing himself.

Loki jerked from his thoughts and felt every bit of emotion he had been repressing well up at the sight of the other man. His clothes were rumpled, not from forging but from frustration. He shut the door behind him and fixed wounded eyes on Loki.

“You are mad at me. You think I do not trust you, but I _do_ , Loki.”

He walked closer; his face was open and raw as he came to stand before Loki. The mage was still seated on his settee, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped over his mouth. He lowered his hands but kept his face impassive. His emotions were locked away tightly, but nothing could have prepared him for Anthony’s next words. 

“I cannot tell you their name, I _cannot_ , but I can... I can explain _why_ and, Norns, do not hate me for it.” He swallowed thickly and his eyes finally fell from Loki’s. “It... it is a _man_ , Loki.”

Loki drew in a sharp breath. His hands fell lax between his legs, and he _stared_ at Anthony. The agony welled up within him, sharp and so much more _painful_ than before. Anthony... he... “You love a man.”

Anthony cringed and closed his eyes, but he didn’t deny it.

Loki was grateful that Anthony didn’t see the tremble in his hands before he hid it. His voice was rough and had it been any other circumstances, had he not _loved_ the man in front of him, it would have been so horribly ironic. “How could you think I would hate you? You _know_ what they say about me.”

Anthony’s eyes snapped open, wide and wrecked. “Rumours, Loki. _Gossip_ that you despised. How could I... I didn’t dare to say...”

“You will find no hate from me,” Loki managed to say. “And I hope you will offer the same courtesy?”

It was as close to a confession as he could make, and Anthony understood it.

“Of course, Loki. I would _never_.” Anthony whispered and he leant forward, bending over the table between them to clasp one of Loki’s hands. He leant even further to press their foreheads together. “I could not tell you.”

“I understand,” and he did, he so desperately did, “I could not either.”

It was forbidden, dishonourable, _unmanly_ to talk about or admit such things on Asgard.

They stayed there for a long moment, only parting when Anthony pulled away to straighten from his position. Their hands remained clasped.

Loki should leave it alone. It would only bring him anguish to continue this, but it was a _man_. He’d never imagined, always refused to truly believe Anthony would ever contemplate such practices.

“Does he know?” Loki enquired, trying to keep his voice even.

Anthony flinched and bit out, “ _No._ ”

His words were emphatic, and Loki knew even without asking. “You will not tell me who it is.”

Anthony still shook his head, adamantly refusing. 

He could see his friend becoming tighter and more defensive the more they spoke and he reached out, gently taking his arm and encouraging Anthony to sit beside him. Anthony hesitated for only a moment before taking a seat.

Loki summoned wine and two goblets to the table, and Anthony barked a harsh laugh, but didn’t refuse when Loki poured him a large one. Anthony held his drink in one hand, staring down at the liquid. 

Loki had just poured his own when Anthony quietly asked, sounding more vulnerable than Loki had ever heard him, “You are no longer mad at me?”

Loki turned to his friend whose brown eyes were wide and terribly hopeful. He softened and while he dearly wished to reach for his friend, he knew better than to do it. “I am no longer mad at you.”

Anthony let out a loud breath of relief and slumped further against the cushions. The movement brought him a little closer to Loki, and the mage tried not to think about that. He focused on his drink instead and took a slow sip.

Anthony was a lover of men, Anthony _loved_ another man. It was both a dream and a nightmare, and yet, Loki hated himself for the sudden swirl of hope that formed within him.

_If he could love one man, perhaps he could come to love another?_

* * *

Later, Loki would blame it on the wine.

The wine and his desperate need to gain even a sliver of what he wanted.

They had gone through an entire bottle in an hour, they were not _drunk_ but they were relaxed and leaning against each other. They had not spoken further about Anthony’s confession but it had been on Loki’s mind. His thoughts could go nowhere else.

“Do you take men when you are on other realms?”

His question cut through the silence like a dagger and he felt Anthony tense against him briefly. He forced himself to relax. “The risk is too great on Asgard.”

 _Yes_ , Loki translated.

“You do not travel often,” Loki pointed out.

Anthony hesitated. “There are women enough on Asgard.”

“It is still a dangerous practice.” Loki’s heart was racing and he was staring at his drink. “I know this more than most.” He turned to look at his friend. Anthony was eyeing him warily. “Do you still crave it?”

Anthony’s face twitched, torn between answering his question and denying it. Loki wasn’t sure he truly wanted to know the answer. His confidence was fading as it was, and he needed to do this now, he needed to _try_. “I am someone you can trust, am I not?”

“More than any other,” Anthony vowed.

Loki smiled with faint bitterness, choosing not to comment on the _name_ , the one thing Anthony still did not trust him to possess.

“You cannot have him, but,” Loki shrugged and finally glanced away, “no one would be concerned if, on occasion, you spent a night or two in my chambers. You have slept here before when our discussions have spanned late into the night.” He stared at his glass. “No one would notice, if you stayed for... additional reasons.”

Anthony sucked in a breath beside him, his body going tense. Loki tried to remain calm and repress his emotions so strongly not even he felt them.

“I am far safer than any other,” Loki continued, his voice remarkably even, “and it would satisfy both our needs while remaining discreet.”

 _It may yet break my heart_ , Loki silently admitted, _but you shall break it regardless. At least I will have a part of you this way._

“Loki...” Anthony whispered, the emotions in his voice were hard to decipher. “I...” 

Words seemed to fail him and Loki finally dared to glance at him. His expression was conflicted; a war was going on behind his eyes, the details of which Loki was not privy to. But, he could assume one of the concerns.

“It will not alter our friendship,” Loki told him firmly. “I would _never_ allow such a thing to occur.”

Anthony’s lips twitched, looking almost sardonic, but it was gone in a flash and he looked away. He also placed down his wine. “I think we have drunk enough tonight.”

He started to stand but Loki reached out and grabbed his wrist, making the weaponsmith look at him. It hurt to say the words, but he would not let it show. “You are refusing?”

The same confliction was more pronounced before Anthony looked away. “I did not say that.”

Fresh hope blossomed within him and he let Anthony’s wrist go. “Consider it. Let me know when you have decided.”

Anthony gave a very slow nod. He still didn’t look at Loki as he walked around the table and made for the door. He paused only long enough to wish Loki goodnight before he was leaving and making his way back to his forge.

The moment he was gone, Loki closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands.

He was a thrice damned fool and he knew he would only hurt himself. Anthony was in love with another man and laying with Loki would not change that. It might _ruin_ them, especially if Loki could not keep his own affections hidden.

_But you would have him. You might become a frequent lover. He might grow to care for you as you do him. Anthony might never have the man he wants, but he might become **yours** , in time._

It was a selfish wish and a terrible betrayal of their friendship. He wanted Anthony’s heart broken if only so he might repair it, might _gain_ it. He had been second best, second _choice_ for most of his life; what was once more?

_But he may never choose you. He might leave you. He might decide you are not **worth** bedding._

The words made Loki cringe, but his offer was already made and Loki would not take it back.

He might be a fool destined to break his own heart, but if he couldn’t have Anthony’s love, perhaps he could have his touch.

* * *

Loki didn’t hear from Anthony for almost four days and the wait was torture. He spent the time trying to discover who had won Anthony’s heart, who had bested Loki in a battle he had not known another man was fighting.

He wanted to _know_ , because if he could only understand what they did, perhaps Loki could do better, _be_ better and win Anthony instead.

 _Foolish_ , he told himself. If Anthony had wanted him, the weaponsmith would have already fallen for him.

Loki could only offer detached, discreet sex and hope that Anthony would accept. It wasn’t enough, Norns, it couldn’t possibly be, but he could work with what he had. Loki had made a lifetime of making the minimum enough.

Loki had been on edge since Anthony had left his chambers. He’d been unable to practice his spells and had instead been meditating or taking walks in the gardens. He avoided his family while he waited for Anthony’s decision. His tension would be obvious, even if the cause would not be; Frigga would fret, Thor would misunderstand and Odin... well, he likely wouldn’t notice. 

Sitting in his rooms on the fourth night since his proposition, Loki was on the floor, cross-legged, barefoot and trying desperately to focus on evening his breathing and clearing his mind. It did not help when every stray thought and emotion was affixed to _Anthony_.

He was so busy worrying about what _might_ happen that he almost missed what _was_ happening. 

Loki heard the door open a moment too late and snapped his eyes open to see Anthony stepping inside and shutting it quietly. He was in a tunic and pants; simple clothes, _evening clothes_. The kind he often wore when they were alone and relaxed in each other’s homes. 

Loki’s eyes widened and his heart raced. Anthony raised his gaze and ran it over Loki. A moment later he was walking forward with purposeful strides. He knelt down in front of Loki. One hand encircled Loki’s wrist the other touched his shoulder and a moment later, Anthony was tilting forward and kissing him.

Loki’s breath left him in a startled rush. His heart _lurched_ , but reason stopped him from falling into the kiss. Loki closed his eyes and kissed back with a hand on Anthony’s neck, but he kept his emotions bottled, he kept his _want, need, love, delight, grief, guilt_ all hidden inside as he took the kiss for what it was; an acceptance of his offer.

When they broke apart, Loki kept his eyes closed as they lingered close. He knew he needed to move, to create an aura of casual disinterest, but right now, Loki just wanted to stay here. It was his first kiss with the man he loved, he wanted to absorb every moment.

But, Anthony kissed him again, and this time, it contained heat.

Loki let out a soft groan and tugged the other man closer. Their kiss deepened and oh, it was _everything_. Anthony was all around him and the soft gasps he released were music to Loki’s ears.

He wanted more, he _needed_ more.

Loki broke the kiss, but only to pull them to their feet. The moment they were standing, he attached his mouth to Anthony’s neck, kissing and marking it in a way he’d spent decades desiring. Anthony moaned and his hand tangled in Loki’s hair.

Loki’s hands drifted, sliding down Anthony’s back, over his sides and catching at his hips. It was so much better than fantasy.

He only let Anthony’s neck go in order to tug at his shirt and pull it off. Anthony divested him of his own and they both took a moment to simply admire. Loki had seen Anthony shirtless, of course, but now he was able to _look_ at him.

Loki brought his hands forward, stroking over skin and delighting when Anthony did the same. Anthony’s eyes were blown with desire and Loki kissed him again.

Their hips came together in a sinuous roll and they broke the kiss to groan. Loki brought his mouth to Anthony’s jaw, trailing his lips along it. He nipped just behind Anthony’s ear and delighted in the way Anthony clutched at him and shuddered.

His hands fisted in Loki’s hair to keep him there.

“Oh, Norns,” he groaned, “Right there, lo-”

His words cut off abruptly and he went completely rigid. Loki thought Anthony had been going to say _his_ name and he’d felt a momentary thrill - but now he realised the folly of his thoughts.

Anthony pushed away from him. His face was ashen, the faint flush of arousal gone. His eyes were horrified and guilty. Loki tried not to flinch. It was obvious that Anthony had intended to say another name. _The_ name, the one he still wouldn’t admit to Loki.

_He does not know you are in love with him! Pretend it does not matter!_

Loki was steeling himself to do just that, but Anthony spoke first.

“I’m sorry,” he hurriedly bent down and grabbed his shirt. “This was a mistake.”

Loki’s heart fell and his stomach revolted. He reached out quickly and grabbed his friend’s wrist, keeping him from fleeing. “Anthony-”

“It was a _mistake_ ,” Anthony hissed. “Norns, I was foolish to even think-” he cut himself off and brought his free hand to press against his eyes. “I am sorry; Loki, but I cannot do this.”

“Why?” Loki asked, his voice hollow. “Because you might say another name? Believe me, Anthony; I know that I am not the one you would prefer to be bedding.”

He sounded bitter, Gods did he sound bitter.

Anthony turned to him with guilt-wrecked eyes. “I am sorry. I am _sorry_.” He came forward and cupped Loki’s neck in a gesture both platonic and intimate. “I know you thought this best, that it would _help_ , but it doesn’t. Norns, it only hurts me more.”

Loki’s heart sunk. “You love him that deeply?”

Anthony closed his eyes and shifted forward, resting his forehead against Loki’s shoulder. “He is my world, and I cannot lose him. I could not love another more than him.”

The words sent shards of pain through Loki’s heart; all his wishes, all his _longing_ crumpling to dust at Anthony’s confession.

But...

“How would becoming my lover make you lose him? How would he know?”

Anthony went still in his arms; he barely seemed to be breathing.

“Why do you fear me knowing his name?” Loki continued, frustrated and confused. “Do you still believe I would tell him?

“Loki-” Anthony whispered, his voice pleading and his tension mounting.

But Loki did not understand! Who could Anthony fear him knowing? How could being with Loki _possibly_ hurt him? Who did Anthony spend so much time with to consider them his _world?_

In a flash of sudden insight and horror at his complete stupidity, the pieces he’d so blatantly ignored and dismissed fell into place before him.

“You love me,” he whispered.

Anthony made a wounded noise before trying to pull away from him. Loki held fast and kept Anthony close.

“You love _me?_ ” he repeated, needing the confirmation.

Anthony slowly raised defeated brown eyes and gave the smallest nod. 

Loki laughed, he couldn’t help it. The sound was delighted and overjoyed and he kissed Anthony, cupping his cheeks and pouring happiness, passion, yearning and love into the embrace. Anthony made a sound of confusion and shock but still kissed him back. He clung to Loki and kissed him with just as much need and devotion. When they pulled apart they were gasping.

“Loki-? What-?”

“I adore you,” Loki whispered. “I thought you in love with another man. It near _broke_ me, but I thought, if I could but have you-”

“-just a small amount,” Anthony interrupted, eyes wide with understanding, “just _something_. It could be enough. You need not know how much I-”

“-love you,” Loki finished. “Always, for _decades_ , Anthony.”

“I almost said it,” Anthony whispered, looking awed. “I would have called you ‘ _love_ ’. You would have _known_ and I would have given anything to-”

“-keep you,” Loki whispered the words, stroking his fingers over Anthony’s cheek. “Anything to keep you.”

Anthony smiled, bright and blinding. He kissed Loki again, his arms around Loki’s neck. Loki wrapped his own around the smaller Aesir’s waist. They kissed until there was no air in their lungs and they were gasping against each other’s mouths. Their lips were soon spreading into wide smiles and Loki brushed his nose against Anthony’s. 

“I do hope you will let me keep you tonight, Anthony.”

“Oh, love,” Anthony said, his eyes full of delight and laughter, and his words making Loki’s heart soar, “you can keep me every night.”

And Loki had every intention of doing just that.


End file.
